Thursday, January 10, 2013
The Power of Negative Thinking
There is a quote I like: "Even if you are on the right track, you can be run over the train, if you just sit there".
In other words, if the light at the end of the tunnel is a train coming your way, no amount of positive thinking will not save you, although of course, if you can avoid worrying, you will be quite happy and relaxed right until the moment the train hits and you've became roadkill.
On the other hand, sitting on the tracks, paralyzed by worry and fear that a train might come and hit you will not save you either, unless you get moving and get off the damn track!
Thinking, either positively or negatively, on its own does neither "create a better future" nor "cause bad things to happen". Thoughts either negative or positive without action are just those: thoughts. Positive thinking without action is as useless and possibly harmful as negative thinking.
Think about it: if you leave a pot on the stove while you leave to do your positive visualization session and a fire breaks out in your kitchen, the fire is neither a result of your negative thinking, nor is it prevented by the positive energy created by your visualizations.
If you do find a fire in your kitchen, I hope you will not try to "bless it" or "breathe through it": you will deal with it, and if you can not put it out easily, you will call 911 and ask for the firefighters to come and deal with it.
Likely, and hopefully, the fire department will not instruct you to sit down, take deep breaths, and visualize the fire putting out itself. Most likely, and most hopefully, they have a truck available, and will send trained firefighters armed with tools and knowledge to deal with the emergency.
The very existence of a firefighter department in your community is a result of "negative thinking" and "positive thinking": it is their job to think of any and all causes, man made, or act of God, deliberate or accidental, that could cause a fire, it is their job to think of anything that might go wrong, and it is their job to come up with a plan as to how to deal with any and all that can go wrong. Of course, coming up with a plan to prevent fires, as well as a plan to put them out requires positive thinking: they must believe that they are capable of putting the fire out and they must feel confident in their training and capability to do so.
On the other hand, having a plan is utterly useless without actually putting it into action. If there were plans to have a fire department, but no dispatch, no fire trucks, no tools and no capable fireman available, the fire will not put itself out.
Facing your worst fears, and making an "emergency" or, "contingency" plan to deal with them, instead of either being paralyzed by them, or simply wishing them away is a powerful way of reducing anxiety and increasing your chances of survival, or success.
Thinking negatively does not cause disasters but having a plan to deal with negative events is positively helpful in life's small or big emergencies.
So, "Trust Allah, but tie your Camels". Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst, and whatever you do, do something: you do not get anywhere by sitting on the right track, but you might very well run over by the train, if you just sit there.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Have you got the Bad Eye? Depression in an Ethno-Cultural Context
Mental illness is present in all societies, but its form and expression varies across cultures. Furthermore, what is considered healthy in one society may be viewed as pathological in another. For example, hearing voices of, seeing or communicating with dead relatives is viewed in Western Society as abnormal, while the same experience is regarded perfectly normal in some societies.
Not only are mental disorders perceived differently, but also, their symptoms and manifestations, and culture specific idioms of distress (the way people describe their "symptoms" and/or express their distress") vary across cultures. Understanding the language of distress from a cross cultural point of view, culturally competent diagnosis and treatment of mental illness are becoming increasingly important in societies such as Canada and the United States, where the main feature of society is cultural diversity.
Ironically, although the western population makes up only one sixth of the world's , western diagnostic framework has been historically regarded as an all encompassing standard for all mental illness, regardless of culture. Thus, diagnosis, treatment psychoanalytic theory and practice has been developed almost exclusively by white, middle class professionals whose words views are strongly linked to the western tradition of work ethic: progress and future orientation, rigid time tables, nuclear family structure, individualism, self reliance, importance o uniqueness and autonomy. However, this value system is not necessarily shared by other cultures and how people identify explain and communicate distress may differ considerably from one cultural group to another.
Relative orientation perspective of today's psychiatry and psychology strongly emphasizes the influence of such cultural, social and environmental factors. According to this perspective, depression, as a mental illness is a western construct, and as such, a culture specific disease to western society In fact, according to at least some experts, depression is-among other things- based on the belief in an individual's right to "pursue happiness and does not exist at least not in the same form in cultures that do not share the importance of individualism and self determination, therefore, depression an extreme state of "unhappiness" is "caused" by the individual's -unsuccessful- pursue of "happiness".
Furthermore, while defining and diagnosing depression in the western culture always includes the criteria that the condition causes "clinically significant distress or impairment of functioning", suffering, distress and sadness does not necessarily viewed as an impairment in other cultures, where "success" and "happiness" or "sadness" and "impairment" are not necessarily interchangeable terms.
Even if depression, as western society defines the disease does not exist, or at least, manifest in a very different way in other cultures there are a number of culture bound syndromes that resemble depression. The following list, (adapted from the DSM IV) includes commonly reported ones:
Mal de ojo (evil aye) or Mal ouchhio (Latin American, Latin Cultures of the Mediterrean)
Mal de Pelea (Puerto Rico)
Nervios (Latinos in the United States and Latin America)
Aataque de nervios (Nervous attack) Latin America and Latin Cultures of the Mediterrean)
Susto (fright, or soul loss)
Bran fag, or Brain fog (West Africa)
Zar (Northest Africa nd Southweset Asia, especially Egypt, Suydan, Somalia, Ethiopioa and Iran
Shejing shuairou- (neuroligal weakness, neurasthenia) Chinese
So, next time when you are wondering if you have got depression, consider that perhaps feeling sad or melancholy is not a disorder, but a perfectly normal reaction to your experience. On the other hand, if the sadness, melancholy, lack of motivation and other signs of distress are severe or prolonged seek whatever treatment or remedy might feel right to you, personally.
Not only are mental disorders perceived differently, but also, their symptoms and manifestations, and culture specific idioms of distress (the way people describe their "symptoms" and/or express their distress") vary across cultures. Understanding the language of distress from a cross cultural point of view, culturally competent diagnosis and treatment of mental illness are becoming increasingly important in societies such as Canada and the United States, where the main feature of society is cultural diversity.
Ironically, although the western population makes up only one sixth of the world's , western diagnostic framework has been historically regarded as an all encompassing standard for all mental illness, regardless of culture. Thus, diagnosis, treatment psychoanalytic theory and practice has been developed almost exclusively by white, middle class professionals whose words views are strongly linked to the western tradition of work ethic: progress and future orientation, rigid time tables, nuclear family structure, individualism, self reliance, importance o uniqueness and autonomy. However, this value system is not necessarily shared by other cultures and how people identify explain and communicate distress may differ considerably from one cultural group to another.
Relative orientation perspective of today's psychiatry and psychology strongly emphasizes the influence of such cultural, social and environmental factors. According to this perspective, depression, as a mental illness is a western construct, and as such, a culture specific disease to western society In fact, according to at least some experts, depression is-among other things- based on the belief in an individual's right to "pursue happiness and does not exist at least not in the same form in cultures that do not share the importance of individualism and self determination, therefore, depression an extreme state of "unhappiness" is "caused" by the individual's -unsuccessful- pursue of "happiness".
Furthermore, while defining and diagnosing depression in the western culture always includes the criteria that the condition causes "clinically significant distress or impairment of functioning", suffering, distress and sadness does not necessarily viewed as an impairment in other cultures, where "success" and "happiness" or "sadness" and "impairment" are not necessarily interchangeable terms.
Even if depression, as western society defines the disease does not exist, or at least, manifest in a very different way in other cultures there are a number of culture bound syndromes that resemble depression. The following list, (adapted from the DSM IV) includes commonly reported ones:
Mal de ojo (evil aye) or Mal ouchhio (Latin American, Latin Cultures of the Mediterrean)
Mal de Pelea (Puerto Rico)
Nervios (Latinos in the United States and Latin America)
Aataque de nervios (Nervous attack) Latin America and Latin Cultures of the Mediterrean)
Susto (fright, or soul loss)
Bran fag, or Brain fog (West Africa)
Zar (Northest Africa nd Southweset Asia, especially Egypt, Suydan, Somalia, Ethiopioa and Iran
Shejing shuairou- (neuroligal weakness, neurasthenia) Chinese
So, next time when you are wondering if you have got depression, consider that perhaps feeling sad or melancholy is not a disorder, but a perfectly normal reaction to your experience. On the other hand, if the sadness, melancholy, lack of motivation and other signs of distress are severe or prolonged seek whatever treatment or remedy might feel right to you, personally.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Of Peace and War
Monday, December 31, 2012
Death Happens. Life Goes On.
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive." Elbert Hubbart
Life, in all of its complexity is really, very simple, unless we complicate it. One can not improve or change one's life. Life is. As is. One can not be more alive than they already are, just as one can not be "more or less" dead than they are.
If you are reading this post, it is safe to assume, you are alive. It is safe to assume you are not in imminent danger, and you are not, at least in this very moment fighting for your life. (If you ARE in imminent danger, will you please turn off the computer or your handheld device and start reacting NOW?!)
Back to my point: Life isn't an action, it is a status of "being". One does not WORK at being alive, life itself takes care of that business. The bad news is, that no matter how successful we are at living, death will still win the game. Everyone who lives was born and everyone who lives will die. The sooner one can accept this, the eventual inevitability of their death, the sooner one can stop dying and starting to come alive.
What makes "life" complicated is not life itself, but our reaction to our life experiences. Whether stuff happens or not, whether the proverbial shit hits the fan or not,our experiences alone have no effect on our life. Our life goes on, and our death arrives, whether we know it or not, whether we like it or not.
Death in itself is not complicated either and just like life, death takes care of its own self. Perhaps because most of us, to one extent or another fight death to the death, dying to most of us appears to be more of an act than an experience. When Death happens, however, no dying is necessarily. Like life, death does not need nor can be controlled and like death, life can not be avoided. Stuff happens. Bad stuff happens. Good stuff happens. Neither the good stuff will make us happy by happenstance nor will the bad stuff kill our happiness or "ruin our life" unless we let it ruin our parade.
Life happens, but happiness does not happen by happenstance. Loving life is an action and a choice. Choose to love your life; perhaps it will love you right back.
And then again...maybe not...you know...shit also happens, somewhere, sometimes and sometimes, it even hits the fan.
Seriously. Do not take life so seriously. Do not be afraid of death, of dying. Be afraid of never living.
Dedicated to my Grandma, who died a year ago this day,on the last day of the year. Rest In Peace, Dedimama. I miss you. Hope you are having fun where you are. See you soon....but not today. I am busy. Living.
Life, in all of its complexity is really, very simple, unless we complicate it. One can not improve or change one's life. Life is. As is. One can not be more alive than they already are, just as one can not be "more or less" dead than they are.
If you are reading this post, it is safe to assume, you are alive. It is safe to assume you are not in imminent danger, and you are not, at least in this very moment fighting for your life. (If you ARE in imminent danger, will you please turn off the computer or your handheld device and start reacting NOW?!)
Back to my point: Life isn't an action, it is a status of "being". One does not WORK at being alive, life itself takes care of that business. The bad news is, that no matter how successful we are at living, death will still win the game. Everyone who lives was born and everyone who lives will die. The sooner one can accept this, the eventual inevitability of their death, the sooner one can stop dying and starting to come alive.
What makes "life" complicated is not life itself, but our reaction to our life experiences. Whether stuff happens or not, whether the proverbial shit hits the fan or not,our experiences alone have no effect on our life. Our life goes on, and our death arrives, whether we know it or not, whether we like it or not.
Death in itself is not complicated either and just like life, death takes care of its own self. Perhaps because most of us, to one extent or another fight death to the death, dying to most of us appears to be more of an act than an experience. When Death happens, however, no dying is necessarily. Like life, death does not need nor can be controlled and like death, life can not be avoided. Stuff happens. Bad stuff happens. Good stuff happens. Neither the good stuff will make us happy by happenstance nor will the bad stuff kill our happiness or "ruin our life" unless we let it ruin our parade.
Life happens, but happiness does not happen by happenstance. Loving life is an action and a choice. Choose to love your life; perhaps it will love you right back.
And then again...maybe not...you know...shit also happens, somewhere, sometimes and sometimes, it even hits the fan.
Seriously. Do not take life so seriously. Do not be afraid of death, of dying. Be afraid of never living.
Dedicated to my Grandma, who died a year ago this day,on the last day of the year. Rest In Peace, Dedimama. I miss you. Hope you are having fun where you are. See you soon....but not today. I am busy. Living.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Personally, I Try Not To Take Things Personally
"Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world."-The Four Agreements, Don Miquel Ruiz
Taking things personally comes naturally to most of us. We view the world around us from our own perspective, from the viewpoint of our ego, personal experiences, feelings and thoughts. We create our own, "personalized" version of the Universe, therefore, in our mind, we are all the centre of the Universe. In our mind, everything that has been said, has been done or happens around us affects us personally, therefore, it must be personal. Yet, the impossible notion that the world revolves around us, but others have complete power over what we think, how we feel, and how we behave is only in our mind.
We are both the creator and the centre of our Universe, we are Masters of our Own Domain, but everyone else is in the centre and masters of their Universe. Our Personal Universes are all the same in the way that each and every one of them are highly personalized, one of a kind and unique.
Taking things personally, assuming that everything others do, say, think or feel has to do something with us personally is a form of magic thinking: we lead ourselves to believe, that we have a direct effect, therefore control over "changing another person's mind" and therefore controlling their actions, feelings and beliefs about ourselves.
Most of us assume, at least some times that we "know" and therefore can change what others feel, think, and that we know better than themselves the reasons for their behaviour or actions. Yet, and most of the times, we do not even have control of our own mind, our own thinking, feelings and reactions not to mention that everything that we believe about our own self, our own personal Universe is not necessarily - and most often not - true. Our truth is only a version of many truths, and what we believe to be "true" changes all the time.
Taking personal responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings starts with acknowledging that no one has the power to "make us" feel good, bad, and no one is responsible for our actions towards others, but ourselves.
A tremendous amount of relief and power comes from the understanding, that nothing that happens in the Universe happens "to us", simply happening "around us". Similarly, no one can do anything "to us", they are simply doing things around us that might or not have an effect on our inner or outer personal life, but have nothing to do with us personally.
A relatively easy way to keep our personal feelings, thoughts, actions and reactions in check is to drop references to "I", and "me" from our thoughts and conversations, and acknowledge that things are not necessarily what they "appear to be". Next time, when you catch yourself thinking "He is angry at me", change your thought to the simpler, and more accurate "He appears to be angry". Instead of saying: "I think you do not like to be with me", say: "You appear to want to spend time alone".
Take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings by dropping personal references to the other person and their actions. Instead of "You make me angry", simplify the thought to "I am angry". Instead of "I think you hate me", think or say: "I feel unloved".
Of course, things are much simpler and much more complicated than that. But personally, although I find it quite difficult not to take things personally, I feel much better when I congratulate to my Self for "making me happy", than when I believe, that other people "made me sad".
Taking things personally comes naturally to most of us. We view the world around us from our own perspective, from the viewpoint of our ego, personal experiences, feelings and thoughts. We create our own, "personalized" version of the Universe, therefore, in our mind, we are all the centre of the Universe. In our mind, everything that has been said, has been done or happens around us affects us personally, therefore, it must be personal. Yet, the impossible notion that the world revolves around us, but others have complete power over what we think, how we feel, and how we behave is only in our mind.
We are both the creator and the centre of our Universe, we are Masters of our Own Domain, but everyone else is in the centre and masters of their Universe. Our Personal Universes are all the same in the way that each and every one of them are highly personalized, one of a kind and unique.
Taking things personally, assuming that everything others do, say, think or feel has to do something with us personally is a form of magic thinking: we lead ourselves to believe, that we have a direct effect, therefore control over "changing another person's mind" and therefore controlling their actions, feelings and beliefs about ourselves.
Most of us assume, at least some times that we "know" and therefore can change what others feel, think, and that we know better than themselves the reasons for their behaviour or actions. Yet, and most of the times, we do not even have control of our own mind, our own thinking, feelings and reactions not to mention that everything that we believe about our own self, our own personal Universe is not necessarily - and most often not - true. Our truth is only a version of many truths, and what we believe to be "true" changes all the time.
Taking personal responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings starts with acknowledging that no one has the power to "make us" feel good, bad, and no one is responsible for our actions towards others, but ourselves.
A tremendous amount of relief and power comes from the understanding, that nothing that happens in the Universe happens "to us", simply happening "around us". Similarly, no one can do anything "to us", they are simply doing things around us that might or not have an effect on our inner or outer personal life, but have nothing to do with us personally.
A relatively easy way to keep our personal feelings, thoughts, actions and reactions in check is to drop references to "I", and "me" from our thoughts and conversations, and acknowledge that things are not necessarily what they "appear to be". Next time, when you catch yourself thinking "He is angry at me", change your thought to the simpler, and more accurate "He appears to be angry". Instead of saying: "I think you do not like to be with me", say: "You appear to want to spend time alone".
Take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings by dropping personal references to the other person and their actions. Instead of "You make me angry", simplify the thought to "I am angry". Instead of "I think you hate me", think or say: "I feel unloved".
Of course, things are much simpler and much more complicated than that. But personally, although I find it quite difficult not to take things personally, I feel much better when I congratulate to my Self for "making me happy", than when I believe, that other people "made me sad".
Thursday, April 28, 2011
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