Mind over Materialism: Joy to the World

The  Holiday Season is upon us, and it appears that ever year the pressure builds to create a "perfect" Christmas: a media campaign designed to mind control and brainwash as many people as possible to spend as much money as possible.  Crazy making that results in highly unrealistic expectations that can not possibly met, increased emotional and physical stress, crowded malls, increased traffic and pollution, lack of natural light, cold, wet, damp weather, overindulgence on high calorie meals loaded with cholesterol, fat, and sugar, increased alcohol consumption: it does not take a lot of mindpower to figure out that this can not possibly be healthy or desireable for anyone, and is more likely to create a hellish experience than joy to the world, peace on earth, peace of mind, happiness, joy, enlightement. Christmas, as prescribed by the media contributes joy and  merriment and beneifts only  merchants, bankers, loan sharks and credit counsellors.

In the virtual world of the media, there are large, affluent, perfectly functional, happy and joyful extended families that live in huge mansions, or chic condos furnished and decorated to a perfection that would challenge and shame professional decorators. Healthy, fit parents, grandparents, friends, in-laws, children and teenagers in designer clothes sit around a perfectly set table to enjoy a picture perfect, succulent and lavish holiday meal, exchange extravagant and expensive gifts. Cute kids scream with delight, romantic couples share a moment of bliss, friendly neighbors and perfect strangers share gifts, hugs and warm handshakes. Pit bulls are becoming cute puppy dogs with Santa hats, school yard bullies become Big Brothers and Girl Guides, abusive partners become loving husbands or wives, war lords stop warring, drug dealers stop dealing, the earth stops quaking....all sit in a big circle around a Christmas Tree, hold hands and sing Silent Night....
Everything is to be perfect at Christmas, and perfection is sold near you at a department store, or conveniently online. Christmas Spirit is available for sale, for twelve easy payments of $99.99, plus applicable taxes, shipping and handling, no refunds, no exchange.

Become the master of your mind, body and Christmas Spirit this year: resist the temptation to spend, buy, outdo the Joneses, or the Kardashians. Remind yourself, that everything that truly means anything in this life (love, joy, happiness, friendship, companionship, passion, compassion, peace, fun just to mention a few from my own wish list) IS free. Christmas Spirit might not be ordered on line, picked up at the drive through window, can not be bought on credit, and is not likely to impress your neighbors, or facebook friends.

Getting Christmas right might take a bit of effort: you might have to accept that resentment, anger, disagreements, family feuds, dysfunction, war, conflict and other "plagues" will not magically be resolved and go away for Christmas; if you are poor, you will probably just as be poor, if not more after the holidays, if you are rich, you will likely be just as rich, your sister in law just as awful, your brother just as annoying, and your life not much different than it was the night before Christmas.

But, if you can resist the temptation, pressure, brainwashing and mind altering influences of those (let they be the media, merchants, airline personnel, or your annoying sister in law) who are attempting to make you feel inferior, inadequate, imbalanced for their own personal benefit, if you can accept that people, earth and the world is how it is, if you can make a decision to be happy, joyful and loving  right now, right here, if you can put down your cell phone, texting device, game and TV controller, if you can stop and reflect instead of  rushing, if you can sit still, if you can find the Christmas Spirit in your own heart, if you can find joy, happiness, peace and love in your own life, then, just like magic,  your  Christmas will be magical.
Now, hold that feeling....and have a wonderful, abundant, passionate, loving, joyful, harmonious New Year in 2011, and forever more.

Merry Christmas, Peace on Earth and Goodwill to All.

Mind over Matter of the Hearts: Welcome into My Love

I was talking to a girlfriend the other day, about what us, women mostly -not always, but mostly-talk about: men, relationships, love and Love with a capital "L".

My friend, a sexy, intelligent, beautiful inside and out, yet (or perhaps "thus"?) single, was describing the man of her dreams, the man, who would win her heart, mind and soul, the man, whom she she would, she said, "Welcome into my Love"

We noticed and laughed about the apparent Freudian slip; of course, she meant "the man I would welcome into my life", but long after I hung up with her, I could not get this notion out of my mind: I mean, we welcome men, women, friends, children, pets and even appliances into our life, but, how many of us welcomes anything, anybody "into our love"?

Come to think of it, how many of us have ever met love, how many of us known love, how many of us welcomed love into our life? Furthermore, and perhaps it is an even more rhetorical, but important question: how many of us invited and welcomes LIFE into our LOVE? In other words: do we give life to our love, or do we give love to our life? Sadly, I assume it is neither; most of us think of love as something that will, one perfect day, "find us", enter our life, and stay forever, cherish us, honor us, sustain us, till death do us part, love will stay with us, until the end, we hope, but many of us, most of us, do not have the commitment, the courage and the wherewithal to stay in love, let alone stay and live with love.

We seek love, we crave love, we fall in and out of love, we love love, and most of us, except certain psycho or sociopaths would agree, that we can't live without love: yet, , many of us never "met" love, many of do, and live without.

Since the beginning of time, philosophers, poets, scientist, theoreticians and every day people tried to define, explain, and sometimes control the concept, energy, feeling, this "thing" we call "love". Depending to whom you listen to, love either does not exist, it is "in our mind", it is in our heart, or, at the other end, it is what makes the world go round, love all there is.

Some would argue, love is nothing but a chemical reaction to certain hormones, designed by evolution for the survival of the species: it is "love" that makes us hunt for a partner to have over for dinner (hopefully followed by desserts, vine and various acts of procreation), instead of having her for dinner. It is a rush of certain chemicals that makes us -especially women- feel good, "in love" after the physical act of procreation (a.k.a. sex), and it keeps us, unlike some spiders and other species, from consuming and digesting our partner, immediately after consummation of our love affair. "Love hormones" keep us from eating our young, and from kicking them out the nest before they can fly.





Love is an emotion, a thought process, and our notion of  Unconditional Love, strongly conditioned by our culture, society, and personal experiences, others argue: it is all in our mind, a construct of our thought processes, a matter of perception, and thus, it can never be truly shared or communicated: even two people deeply in love with each other are not "in" the same love.

Love is an action, others will say, it is a behavior, mostly learned, a conscious act. We "make love", we "act lovingly", we "share love" we "love others" and others, hopefully will love us back.

Do we have a choice over love? Can we control with whom, where, and why we are going to fall in love with? Are we responsible for "staying in love", do we "fall" out of love, or do we walk out on love?

Some say, you can not truly love others, until you've learned to love yourself. Others say,that you can not love yourself, unless you experienced at least once, even if for a short period of time, how it feels to be loved. Truly, some people who never experienced love as being accepted, cared for, safe, might even confuse being controlled, or even abused as being loved, and they end up abusing themselves and others in the name of "love".

Personally, I tend to believe that love is as much an instinct as it can be constructed, learned and practiced mindfully. I believe, love is a word of action and a state of mind that can be developed, cultured, an experience we can create, and a choice we can make.  a conscious choice. As long as we have a mind, body and soul, we can choose to evolve toward a conscious, mindful and soulful experience, feeling and action of love: all we have to do is to open our heart, mind and body, to welcome love into our life and to welcome life into our love.

Multitasking: Wasting Time by Trying to Save Time

Multitasking is not living in the present and making the best use of time. Rather, it is a futile effort to split the present time into more time than there is. But there is no "more time", "less time" or "wasted time". Time can not be "saved" and used up at some other time. Time can not be "recovered", once it is gone, it is gone. Doing many things at the same time is not only proverbially useless, but scientifically proven to be ineffective. According to research, people who were multitasking made significantly more mistakes, completed less tasks, and experienced more stress than those who tackled things one at the time, given their attention and focus to only one task until it was completed.


Those trained in mindfulness based living, (i.e. were trained to give full attention, awareness to each task, as if it was as if it is a form of meditation and spiritual experience) were able to complete almost twice as many task in a given time than their multitasking counterparts, they made practically zero mistakes, and their experience has been significantly more plesant than members of the multitasking group. So, stop wasting time by trying to do too many things at the time: remember, time can not be saved, but you will save effort, have a better time (experience) and will almost surely do a much better job at whatever you are doing, if you give it your full attention, your best effort, until it is done.

Suicide: Loosing a Courageous Battle With Life

Suicide is the cancer of the mind: people who are killing themselves are not weak, they are not cowards, and they are cot crazy. Suicide is not a shame, it is not immoral and it is not a sin. When someone commits suicide, they have not given in: they have simply lost a courageous battle with life.

If you are a person thinking of killing yourself, please talk to someone NOW. Being silent is not a sign of strength. There is SOMEONE who will listen. THERE IS SOMEONE WHO WILL HELP. THERE IS SOMEONE WHO CARES.

I CARE. I WROTE THIS ARTICLE BECAUSE I WANT TO HELP.

 IF YOU CAN'T THINK OF A FRIEND, A RELATIVE, or a PROFESSIONAL you can trust, or who is available, call the suicide crisis line in your community:

Call: 1-800-SUICIDE or 604-872-3311 in CANADA. There are professional, caring people 24/7 who will listen. CALL NOW. It is free and confidential. Call. NOW.

THERE IS NEVER TOO EARLY but OFTEN TOO LATE to prevent suicide. Knowledge is power. EDUCATE YOURSELF.

Suicide is the least understood and most misunderstood of all human actions, and unfortunately, also one of the least talked about.  Both as a professional, and and in my personal life, I had been touched by suicide and I can personally attest that the loss of a friend, family member, or client to suicide is one of the most difficult experiences in a person's life, perhaps only surpassed by the emotional pain and suffering being caused by being suicidal oneself.

While the suicide tends to be the least talked about subject, it is more common than you think. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association's webpage, someone around the globe commits suicide every 40 seconds. In the year 2000, 815,000 people lost their lives to suicide — more than double the number of people who die as a direct result of armed conflict every year (306,600). For people between the ages of 15 and 44, suicide is the fourth leading cause of death and the sixth leading cause of disability and infirmity worldwide.

There are many myths, and stigmas that are associated with suicide and suicidal behaviour and the lack of information about suicide is probably the number one reason why most people only think or talk about suicide when it is too late: after someone they love or know have attempted, or worse, succeeded at killing themselves.

Contrary to popular myth, suicide is not a sudden or temporary loss of  one's mind, but often, if not always is a result of emotional or mental illness and suffering over an extended period of time: when a person's copying abilities and resources run out, when the pain of living appears to be unbearable, and there does not seem to be the faintest hope of recovery or resolution, when one feels that there is nothing more that they can or able to do to eliminate the pain, better their life, where there is no more hope, there is suicide.

I've read a quote somewhere that is, I believe is very poignant:

"Weak people do not kill themselves.  People who have tried to be too strong for  too long might"

Although the majority of people who become suicidal or commit suicide suffer from a diagnosed or undiagnosed form of mental illness, or mood disorder, people who are suicidal are not crazy. In fact, the majority of people who become suicidal are very capable and resourceful individuals who were and able to lead  "normal" life in spite of stressful, problematic and emotionally painful life experiences and circumstances  for a long time. In fact, suicidal thoughts when no other apparent options exist, appear to be the most logical thing to do, and often the ONLY action a suicidal person feels they have the power to do. When everything else fails, when one feels they have no control over anything in their life, they might feel the ONLY thing they have control over is the decision to end their life.

Another common and dangerous myth is, that people who talk about killing themselves do not do it. On the contrary, it is a sad statistic, that most people who commit suicide made references, even if apparently kidding about it, in the days, weeks, months, or even years preceding their suicide.

Although sometimes there are no CLEAR warning signals of a person being suicidal, there are almost ALWAYS signs that become clear only after their attempt. In addition, there are certain life experiences or trauma that might increase a person becoming suicidal.  Check a list of these signs NOW, even if you do not presently know, or you can't even imagine you would EVER know someone, let alone become yourself suicidal. Knowing these signs, just as you would know the sings of a heart attack, a stroke might one day save the life of someone you love, or save your own life.

Check out possible warning signs of suicide NOW: CLICK HERE

DO NOT TRY TO RULE OUT,  SELF DIAGNOSE OR DIAGNOSE IN OTHERS DEPRESSION OR SUICIDAL INDENTATION.  There is never too early but often too late  to prevent suicide, there is no such thing as a false alarm, but an alarm that has been ignored.

IF THERE IS AN IMMEDIATE DANGER OF A PERSON ACTIVELY THINKING OF SUICIDE, AND/OR  ANY SUSPICION OR DOUBT THAT THEY MIGHT DO SO, SEEK PROFESSIONAL  HELP IMMEDIATELY!

There are many resources, assessment and self assessment tools for mood disorders and suicide available on the Internet and in every community.  Here is one of them, by the Canadian Mental Health Association:

CLICK HERE

Whatever you do, or do not do, do not try to silence a person and prevent them fro thinking "negatively" or talking about killing themselves.

How do you know if a person is suicidal? ASK! "Have you thought of killing of yourself" "How would you do it?" "Have you made a plan?"

KNOW THAT talking about suicide almost NEVER increases but almost ALWAYS decreases the chance of a person killing themselves.  You can not "give ideas" to a person of killing themselves, but you can potentially giving them ideas of not being taken seriously, of not being important, of not being heard, if you do not LISTEN to them.


Especially in our "hooked on positive thinking" society, talking about "negative" feelings, especially concerning such taboos as death and suicide is often uncomfortable, or down right scary to most people. Individuals feeling suicidal might not talk about it, because they might be afraid of hurting the other people's feelings, or because they are afraid of being further rejected, ridiculed, or put down. Yet, probably the most important and most helpful thing a person can do to help someone who is suicidal is to LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.

Do NOT: minimize the pain or suffering of a suicidal person by telling them to "think positively", to "snap out of it", or tell them, their problems or feelings are not important or serious enough to kill themselves over. This type of talk might only INCREASE the person's feelings of not being heard, not being taken seriously, of being misunderstood, and their feelings of shame, embarrassment,  inadequacy, powerlessness, and feeling that they are not "normal", that others could deal with the problems they are feeling, that there is something inherently wrong with them.

As a person who lives with Major Clinical Depression, and unfortunately personally experienced suicidal thoughts, I get personally offended, and even angry, when I hear people saying: people who are talking about killing themselves  just want attention. DUH!

Talking about suicide is a CRY FOR HELP AND ATTENTION and the best thing, in fact THE moral and ethical thing and responsibility of you as friend, relative, professional, or HUMAN BEING is not to deny, but  give  attention and to show your support!

Don't try to do it alone. Maintain confidentiality, but talk to a professional (there are suicide crisis lines in virtually every community and on the Internet, where you can talk to trained counsellors and professionals while remain anonymous. FIND THESE RESOURCES and USE THEM.

Increase and/or activate a person's natural circle of support: friends, family, church,  social and government agencies, anybody who can potentially help to provide practical or professional  support and solutions, services, counselling and whatever else is needed.  Often, all a person needs to know that there is ONE or more people who care and are willing to help to provide that glimmer of hope and strength to go on. Do not say: I am sorry, I can't help you. This might give the person an idea that NO ONE can help, their situation or they themselves are hopeless and there is no help available to them. Say: "I WILL HELP YOU TO FIND A SOLUTION"

In fact, most people who attempt or commit suicide DID ask for help in every way they knew or felt they were allowed to ask how. Most become suicidal when either they believe that no one can, or no one is willing to help, when they loose hope. It is also true in most cases, that when they TALK about killing themselves, there is still a part of them that WANTS TO LIVE.  APPEAL TO THAT PART OF THAT PERSON instead of trying to silence the part that wants to give up and wants to die.

When someone tells you they are going to kill themselves, TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.  If  a person appears to be actively suicidal, (i.e. they talk about killing themselves, they have made a plan, they have the means and opportunity to kill themselves), DO NOT LEAVE THEM ALONE AND CALL FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP IMMEDIATELY!  Yes, I know I am repeating myself, but I can not repeat this enough...do not leave them alone and do not give the impression that you have other, more important things to do. There are no more important things to do in life, than saving some one's life.

References and useful links
Canadian Mental Health Association Statistics
Suicide
Depression Self Assessment Test





Disclaimer:
This site provides general information only intended for educational purposes.  Information provided is not a substitute for professional advice. If you feel that you may need medical advice, please consult a qualified health care professional. MYL  makes every reasonable effort to ensure that the information is accurate at the time of posting. We cannot guarantee the reliability of any information posted.

A Bold Statement: You are More Privileged than You Think.

The original authors of this exercise are Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, and Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University.



Bold the statements that are true. Now, count your blessings.



1. Father went to college

2. Father finished college

3. Mother went to college

4. Mother finished college

5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor.

6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers.

7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home.

8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home

9. Were read children’s books by a parent

10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18

11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18

12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively

13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18

14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs


15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs

16. Went to a private high school

17. Went to summer camp

18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18

19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels

20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18

21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them

22. There was original art in your house when you were a child

23. You and your family lived in a single-family house

24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home

25. You had your own room as a child

26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18

27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course


28. Had your own TV in your room in high school

29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college

30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16

31. Went on a cruise with your family

32. Went on more than one cruise with your family

33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up

34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family

The Insanity of an Insatiable Society

Maslow's Hiearchy of Needs

Humans need surprisingly little in the physical and material sense to survive: according to Maslow, our basic survival needs include air, water, food, shelter from the elements, and sex. (the last one, as a basic survival need has been subject to much debate).


Even though in North America and Europe, the "Western Culture", or "Developed World", as we call it, at least for the majority of people there is an overabundance, and we are self proclaimed to live the healthiest and fittest lives (no where else in the world are so many fitness clubs, programs, nutritionists, counsellors, psychologist, self help gurus, self improvement groups,etc...) we are, at large, overweight, unhealthy, unfit, a Prozac and Viagra Nation.

This is not an accident: the truth is, that we have everything that we need, and more in this society, in fact, we have an overabundance of material and physical resources: the only way to keep the demand for goods, services and material things up, and therefore our consumer and consumption based economy going, is to deliberately drive us unhappy, dissatisfied.

So, instead of being "happy with what we got", we want more. We want this:

and this:
 

and this:

and this:

and this:

and of course, this:

and we are led to believe, that unless we have all of this, we can't possibly be happy, satisfied, fulfilled,  if what we have is not good enough, we are not good enough.

 

 

The perfect rebuttal of this myth,  is that those (celebrities, the rich, the famous, the powerful) who got all of THAT, appear to be the unhappiest, unhealthiest of all of us, and those who climbed to the proverbial top, seem to be the loneliest of us all.

 

Instead of happy, satisfied, healthy, fit and beautiful, they might end up like this:

 

 

They, the celebrities, the successful and the famous people we are to follow, aspire our bodies, our things, our very lives to be modeled after, become obese, anorexic, addicted to drugs, alcohol, sex, plastic surgeries, and more, they change partners more often than some of us changes underwear, they get married, divorced and married again faster than most of us can post a profile on a dating site, they are literally dying for attention, dying for  our love, dying to be happy, and instead, they become poster children of failure, unhappiness, chaos and dysfunction. 

People who are unhappy, or down right depressed are led to believe, that their depression and unhappiness is a fault, a sign of weakness, and could be cured if only they would buy this product, follow that program, get richer, sexier, skinnier, smarter, had a bigger breast, penis or bank account, a smaller waist,  if only they would look, think and live like the rich and the famous (the "successful") they would not be depressed.

Right? Wrong. There are long  lists, too expansive to include here, and sadly, not all inclusive of celebrities and famous people who suffer from depression, the list of celebrities who died of drug overdose or under suspicious circumstances and the list of rich and famous people who ended their own life.

.

So, how do you avoid or  cure depression, mental illness, addiction, unhappiness, misfortune,mishaps and tragedies of life? I do not know, and I can't tell you. But what I do know, is that the first step to feel that our needs are met, is to realize, that what we want is not always (almost never) what we need, and what we need, we already have.

Right now, in this moment, you are alive, breathing,  safe from the elements, you are not freezing to death or burning up under the sun in the desert, you are not dying of hunger or thirst, you are not dying from lack of sex, and even if you are lovesick, chances are, you are not dying of a broken heart in this very moment. Even if you do have a terminal illness, physical, (i.e. cancer) or emotional (i.e. depression),  even if you are dying, like everyone else who was born to this planet, you are not dead yet. You are alive, your basic needs are met, and everything else is a bonus from here.

Do yourself a favor: for the next year, next month, next week, next day, next hour, next minute (however long you are willing and able to go), try not to be anybody, try not to be like anybody else, try not to imitate, in fact, don't even pay attention to the lifestyle of the rich and famous, do NOT watch a reality TV show, do NO compare yourself or your life to the images of commercials and ads, don't try to be anybody or anything. Just BE.

Affirmations

Don't you wish you could have the enthusiasm and positivism of a four year old? Watch this video for inspiration.

Affirm like You MEAN it!

Fear: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

FEAR is an acronym in the English language for 

"False Evidence Appearing Real"”

Over 80 percent of our fears never come true. This means, most people spend about eighty percent of their time worrying about stuff that  probably will never happen to them.

Face your fear, face the evidence, evaluate the possible outcome, and unless there is a real and reasonable probability of being physically or emotionally hurt, or hurting someone else,  if you are "just afraid", go ahead, and "just DO IT!"

However, and it is a BIG HOWEVER:

Keep in mind, that individuals who suffer from  Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder or Phobias will not benefit from such advice:  they are no more capable of  "JUST DOING" what they are afraid of   than a person without phobias or anxiety disorder would be willing to jump out of an airplane at an altitude of 10,000 kms without a parachute! 

Fear is not a negative emotion as per se: it is quite reasonable to be afraid when in the middle of a dangerous situation, for example in a middle of a battle field, as seen in this "rendition" of Van Gogh's famous painting, The Scream:

However, for most people, it would be considered irrational to be extremely afraid of famous people (and there is a phobia for that!)

When a fear is irrational, persistent, and intense, involving certain situations, people, activities, anything or anybody.  it is known as  a phobia. (For an extensive list of 534  phobias, some common, some bizarre, check here)

If you know someone, or if you think you might be suffering from a phobia, Anxiety Disorder or Panic Disorder, seek professional help: there are many very effective treatment options available, that might include any or a combination of medication, meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy, and more.

For an extensive list of phobias, (534 of them) click here. (unless you suffer from clickophobia)

How To Overcome Any Fear

You have nothing to fear, but fear itself. Watch this video for trips on how to overcome ANY fear.

Thoughts Effect Reality: The Proof is in the Rice Pudding

Perhaps, you've heard about the famous Emeto experiment featured in the What the Bleep Do we Know Now movie series? Dr.Masaru Emeto subjected water to different mesesages of emotions: participants were asked to think and send messages to ordinary tap water, such as hate, love, thank you, gratitude, then Dr. Emeto photographed the water chrystals that formed in the water receiving the message. The results were truly magical: positive emotions and messages transformed the water chrystals into beautiful designs, and the negative emotions had an effect of creating  an ugly, chaotic, disorganized mess.

What is even more interesting and miracolous, that water also appears to respond to mere words, not intentions in the same way, and this is something that you can observe, and prove or disprove for yourself, without the need of expensive or ellaborate equipment. The proof is in the pudding, rice pudding that is.

Well, not pudding, exactly, just ordinary, cooked rice. Cook a pot of rice, divide it into three containers (to avoid contamination, the best is to use brand new, never used containers) and seal the container with the kind of tape you can write on. Next, write positive words on one of the containers: "Thank You, I Love You, You are Beautiful" are some of the examples. Write hateful, negative words on the next container:"I hate you", "You Fool", "You are Ugly" and others like that. You can write just one message, or several. On the third contaner, write nothing at all. This will be the container that will be simply ignored: it will receive neither bad or good attention.

Now, store the three containers at room temperature for a minimum of one month, and up to three months. If your experiment goes anything like the tens of thousands of experiments conducted (and reported) by people all over the word, you will see a result something like this: the rice that was marked (subjected to) positive messages, even without thoughts or attentions, will show some signs of "going bad", but will look remarkably good even after three months of storage. The container with the "bad" messages will not do as good: chances are, there will be a lot more signs of rot and mold than in the first container. Interestingly, but not surprisingly, the third, ignored and neglected container usually does the worse. As one observant, but not entirely scientific observer remarked, the rice, after 141 days in the ignored container looked like a bowel movement. (He actually used the "S" word).

Rice absorbes water while being cooked, and apparently, the water in the cooked rice responds to the words even without intention. Conclusion? Words and thoughts might not break your bone literally, but at the cellular level, they can make or break your body, and ingorance, neglect, inattention and indifference is the worst form of abuse a person can inflict on others, on their selves, on the environment, and everything contained within. Food for thoughts, isn't?

What if You Are Already Complete?

My Neocortex Thinks, Therefore I Exist

On top of the evolutional chain, and physically, on the top of the reptilian  and  mammalian brains, resides the neocortex: the Superior, Rational, Thinking Brain. Although all animals have a cortex, it is relatively small, and its function is very limited: a mouse can live, and “behave” normally, after its cortex is removed, but a human is a vegetable without it. Primates (monkeys) are the first animals to have a neocortex, although it is not nearly as developed and complex as humans.



MacLean called the neocortex  "the mother of invention and father of abstract thought”: the higher, more superior cognitive functions that sets us apart from animals and make us humans are in the neocortex. The cortex is divided into left hemisphere, which controls the right side of the body and the right hemisphere, that controls the left side of the body. The right brain is more spatial, abstract, musical and artistic, while the left brain more linear, rational, and verbal. This brain is “responsible” for complex human thoughts, cognition, memory, and complex human emotions, self reflection and self realization.



The neocortex “thinks, therefore it exists”. This is the superior, rational, logical, altruistic, scientific, spiritual, philosophical, and loving brain. Linking to think of ourselves as Homo Sapiens (Thinking Men), intelligent, rational, created to God's image, or at least, being on top of the evolutional chain, we would like to think, that our Thinking Brain is in control of the Rat  and the Lizzard brains at all times.



Unfortunately, it is not so. Although nothing goes unnoticed by the Superior Brain, it is also the one last developed, an infant compared to the reptilian and mammalian brains, both of which, as we discussed earlier, are very reluctant to change, and resist being controlled. In fact, whatever we do, feel, or think, it is always a combination of the three brains working together, although not in perfect harmony: one of the brains, based on the situation is always dominant over the others. In fact, it is not far from the truth,  that we, men and women alike,  "have enough blood to operate only one of our brains at the time".

There are times, and situations when it is a  fairly good idea to act first, and think later. Imagine, an object hurling through the air straight toward your face. In terms of physical survival, it would be potentially fatal to stop and analyze the situation: if we did not move out of the way quickly and instinctively, we would be hit right between the eyes, before we could think “WTF!” (What are The Facts?) In order to preserve an intact skull, and the possibility of further scientific or spiritual analysis, we need to let the Bodyguard handle the situation.


Pure logic and rational thinking is not necessary and sometimes even counterproductive to human development, and evolution: sometimes, we DO have to override logic, and just DO what feels right, what we know in our guts to be true. Some of our most human, most highly cherished human behaviors. Love as a feeling, and action, and our ability to have faith, or perceive God for example often, if not always, have nothing to do with logic, and everything to do with “feeling” and the emotional brain.


When a space shift, aircraft, or nuclear plant is in danger of destruction, all systems that are not necessary for immediate survival are shut down, in order to preserve energy and resources to be able to handle the situation most effectively. In times of real or perceived danger to our survival, our body acts much the same way: the first brain to "shut down" is the thinking brain, and if the trauma is severe, then the emotional brain follows.

When the body goes into an "all systems halt", and only the very basic functions that are necessary for physical survival remain. This is why people who experienced extreme physical or emotional trauma, go into "shock": they are unable to problem solve, rationalize, make sense of the situation, and emotionally, they feel listless, or "numb". Similarly, when a person is in a rage or terrified, they phisically and literally stop "thinking", and they are unable to effectively problem solve or communicate.





Our behaviors, actions, instincts, feelings, emotions, and complex cognitive functions are all highly interdependent and interrelated. The human mind, the sum of all of our hopes, fears, desires, thinking, memories, experiences and the sense we make out all of this, is both the creator and the product of itself.
Our reality creates our mind, and in turn, our mind creates our own, highly personal reality.



Science is catching up what our body, and instinctively, human’s have known all along: our mind expands beyond the boundaries of our physical body, and is part of a larger, in fact infinite intelligence that “has a mind” on its own, and, if it did not create it, definitely keeps the Universe with all of its innate and animate objects “alive”.



Individually and collectively, by learning to use our brain, our body, our mind, our environment, our reality, and in fact, the entire Universe with its unlimited and infinite power, intelligence, and resources, we can evolve to an entirely new "species" and create an entirely new reality. By becoming masters of our individual mind, rather than being mastered by it, we can create an individual and collective, universal  experience of harmony, balance, peace and love.

Your Mammalian Brain: The Lymbic System

The Mammal Brain is believed to be the seat of our value judgment, and thus has a great influence on behavior: it decides whether the higher brain has a “good” idea or not, based on whether it “feels” true and right or not, in other words, it subordinates logic to feelings. Since the Mammal Brain still tends to be dogmatic and paranoid and because of its tendency to hedonistic, pleasure seeking and pain avoiding behavior, its judgment of what is “good or bad” is mostly based on rationalizing desires instead of “thinking”.

For example, to use my earlier “broccoli vs, cookie” example, a young child, who has not yet have the ability (or limitation) of the complex rationalization of an adult, “thinks” and behaves mainly from the mammal brain’s point of view: I am hungry. I like the taste of cookies. I do not like the taste of broccoli. I want cookie.

She does not yet “think” rationally: I am hungry, and I prefer the taste of cookie to broccoli, but I know that cookie has a lot of sugar and sugar is not good for my health. Broccoli has lots of vitamins and good nutrients. I will eat the broccoli.

But, she also does not think this way: I will not eat cookies, because they will make me fat. If I am fat, no one will like me. I need to be skinny in order to fit in. Come to think of it, I will not eat the broccoli either. I am a bad person, for even thinking of eating all that food. I will starve myself to death.

And, she does not think: No one will ever love me, because I am fat. I am a looser, and I am not strong enough to stick to a diet or to exercise. I will always be fat, what is the use? Food is my friend. I will eat the whole box of the cookies, because I want to feel better.

The mammal brain “acts, feels, and behaves” like a stupid cow sometimes, and can’t muster enough thinking or problem solving skills to leave a burning barn, even if the gate is open, unless is directed and practically forced by a sheep dog. The mammal brain however is also the one who compels the loyal dog to run into a burning building, in order to save its master. It might “tell” us that starving ourselves to death is a good idea, in order to fit in, in order to be loved, but it is also the one responsible for us for the irrational, but heroic act of jumping in front of a moving car, or a speeding bullet to save our loved ones.

Literally in the middle between the reptilian and thinking brain, the mammalian brain is greatly influenced by both, and acts as a bridge, translator, negotiator and mediator between the two.

By becoming aware of how our emotions and memories form, their influence on our thinking and behavior, the way we perceive, create, interpret and react to our inner and outer reality, we can change the way we think, feel, the way we act, they way we react, we can change our experience of reality, in fact, we can change our reality.

Your Lizzard Bodyguard: The Reptilian Brain

We do not have one brain, in fact, we have three brains, stacked on top of each other, in order they have evolved. The oldest and most primitive of the brains is the basal brain, the R-complex as coined by MacLean, who first proposed the model of the “triune brain”.


The Reptile Brain consist of the brain stem and the cerebellum, and it remains basically unchanged since it first appeared in reptiles. It’s main “concern” is to keep us alive and multiply and it is "filled with ancestral memories" of our lizard and snake ancestors. It does not “think”, it does not have emotions, it only “acts in a cold, and totally uncalculated way, it prefers fight over fleeing, sex over love, kill over being killed.

It is mechanical, and ritualistic, keeps repeating the same behaviors over and over, and it is incapable of learning from past mistakes. It controls our very basic, anatomic survival functions, such as breathing and heartbeat, and therefore it is active even in deep sleep. It acts like a “bodyguard”; all muscle, no brain”, aggressive, territorial, rigid, obsessive, compulsive, ritualistic and paranoid. not someone you would bring home to introduce to Mom, nor someone you would like to move in and start a relationship with, but very handy to have in a dark alley walking you to your car after closing hour at the local watering hole.

The reptile brain tends to be blamed for every human behavior that is "bad"; it is savage, stubborn, agressive and certanly not discerning. It would be tempting to think, that getting rid of, or at least gaining total control of this brain by our "higher brains and consciousness" would be a good way to go to create personal and universal happiness, love, peace and contentment.

Not so fast. There are situations in this world, when acting first and thinking later are the right way to go. Imagine, that there is an object (say, a rock) hurling through space at high speed. Your reptile brain does not stop to "think", to "feel", but it makes you jump out the way, or at least, move your head, before you can even think "WTF?!" (What are The Facts?!)

There are situations, where being paranoid is a good thing. If I PERCEIVE a large, potentionally dangerous object coming straight toward my head, I don't want to stop and analize the facts, I don't want to know, if it is real,is it an optical illusion, is it a flicker of my imagination, I don't want to ponder the meaning of life and death, I rather stay alive, I dont' want to be zen, and I do not want not to judge, I don't want excude loving kindness to the damn rock, I want out of the way.

Although it might appear to be rather dull, stupid, out of control and uncivilized, our reptile brain is in control and is responsible for keeping us alive, and if it was not so good at it, we would have never had the opportunity to evolve, we would be, at best still Komodo Dragons, at worst, extinct dinosaurs.

When it is not fighting, the Reptile Brain acts as head of Maintenance and Housekeeping. Some of us have trouble walking and chewing gum at the same time, never mind if we had to consciously move every muscle and think of each next step, never mind having to keep all other systems going, from circulation to digestion, imagine we would have to think and feel through every breath and every hearbeat. In fact, of all the brains, this brain never stops! It is fully active, even when we sleep.

Why, we could not walk, eat, have sex, or do any of the more civilized, beautiful and sensible things we do, if it was not for the Reptile Brain keeping us alive and keep moving.

The Reptile Brain does this all and more, without thinking, without feeling, and until we come up with a better, more reliable system, I am voting for keeping the Lizzard Bodyguard.

Mind Your Love: What Love Is

“Love” does not exist, although the need to be loved, and to love is universal; love, as a feeling, an action, or as a state of being is an idea, a construct made up by our mind: therefore, the experience, expectations, the very idea of what love is, or is not,to an individual as unique as there are humans and experiences in this Universe.

Yet, at the Universal level, Love is unconditional and unlimited, in fact, beyond the limitations of our physical life, and our mind, LOVE all there is.

When I was eight years old, I was hit by a car, and I had a “Near Death Experience”

There is much scientific, theological , psychological and philosophical debate about what happens when a person dies, or is near dying, whether the experience is “real”, is it a strictly biological response of the brain, or is it the last or near last flicker of our imagination created by the mind. I do not attempt to settle the debate, but offer this, rather personal interpretation: I was not having a Near Death Experience. Instead, ever since then, I am having a Near Life Experience: I never felt more alive, then at the time, when I nearly died.

Cliché as it might be, the experience was and is indescribable. In fact, there was no “experience” in the experience; there were no thoughts, feelings, actions, reactions, happenings, there was only…well, the closest word I can come up with, however unsatisfactory is: there was only Being.

Born and raised in the then communist country of Hungary, by atheist parent, at the age eight, I did know about religion as an idea, but I had no preconceived ideas of any God, and I haven’t even begun to question the existence or nonexistence of God. I did not yet have preconceived scientific, or philosophical ideas of life or death.

At the time, and for several years afterwards, I just accepted that this is what “happens” when one gets hit by a car. I did not know I was dying. I did not know, I was near death. I did not know, that there was anything exceptional, unexpected, unaccepted, normal or abnormal happening to me. Only later have I started to ask questions, and search for answers, and only recently have I finally accepted that in this world, there are no satisfactory, all encompassing answers. I came full circle: Now, I believe, what happened, happened, what was, is, what is, what is what will be.

I do not remember being hit by the car, and I do not remember, leaving my body. All I know, that suddenly, I was not my body.

Event though I did not have yet any concept of “me” and “The Universe”, I knew all there is to know in the Universe. (Unfortunately or fortunately, I do not remember any of that now) There was no separation between my being, and the universe, but there was no possibility of attachment to any one or anything, not even to my own self. . There was no possibility of separation, therefore there was no need for closeness. There was no possibility of being of any gender, age, of being Gina, being the Dalai Lama, not a possibility of being Me. Yet, I was somehow, still Gina, I was still the Dalai Lama, I was the driver who hit me, I was the car that hit me, I was the pavement. There was a possibility to be anyone, any thing, any being, and any One.


There was no up, no down, there was nowhere. Yet, I was everywhere. I was the matter concentrated in a Black Hole before the Big Bang, and my being filled the expansion of the entire Universe. I understood everything that was happening, not only what was happening to me, but the place and meaning of this particular event in the entire matrix of the Universe.

I did not feel, I did not think, I did not do. I was. Being.

There was no pain: since I had no body to hurt. There was no suffering, there was no fear, there was no courage, since I had no thoughts, no feelings, and no mind to judge if it was “good” or “bad”, I had no mind to make false sense of what was happening to me.

At the same time, I could simultaneously “feel” and “understand” all the physical and emotional pain not only of myself, and those around me, but the physical and emotional suffering of the entire Universe. I “known” this pain, but I did not “feel” the pain, I did not judge it to be either “good” or “bad”, no pain or suffering had any effect on my Being.

I also had no pleasure, at least not in the sense of “real” world: there was no excitement, no joy, no enthusiasm, there was no happiness and there was no physical sensation of pleasure either. Instead, I felt the sum of all pleasure, physical or emotional of the entire universe. Although I had no idea at the time of what an orgasm was like, (and forgive me for using the rather crude metaphor-, I can only liken the pleasure I felt to having an orgasm that was the sum of all orgasm of the entire universe, without the very possibility of the orgasm to end. ( The sum of all multiple orgasms ad infinity, yes, that is what death and dying feels like!)

In this unlimited and unconditioned state of Being, with the unlimited possibilities, of possibilities, where all possibilities already manifested, in this place of chaos and order, where everything happened all at the same time, in that split second that had no beginning and no end, in this place of nowhere and everywhere, in this void full of life, there was only ultimate, unlimited, unconditional and infinite peace, contentment, harmony, perfect balance…There was love, only love, there was nothing but LOVE.

I was loved and there was no possibility of not being loved. I loved and there was no possibility not to love. I was in love, love was in me, beside me, all around me. I was the drop of the ocean that is the ocean I was the speck of the sand that is the beach. I was inside me, beside me, all around me. I was the Lover, the Beloved, I was The One, I was ONE.

There was no possibility of being asked, or being explained, and there was no possibility of making a decision, yet I know with all my being, I was neither advised nor forced to “come back”. Coming back, returning to my body, to this life, to this reality was at the time as “normal”, my re-association to life, to my body, and to the experience was just as miraculous and uneventful as the disassociation a mere few minutes ago.

I never was able to return to this placeless place, I never succeeded to be this being, although sometimes spontaneously, sometimes with much effort to achieve the effortlessness needed, sometimes through meditation and sometimes in my dreams, sometimes I came close.

As I grew older, my search, my mission to understand, to make meaning of, and to conceptualize what happened to me led me to the path of seeking, searching, studying, experimenting and experiencing, led me to read anything and everything I could on the subject, study, learn and experiment with (or whom) I could possibly think of, and eventually, led me down to this exact place. What happened and what I experienced influenced not only who or what I am, but what or who I am yet to be.

Needless to say, all through my adult life, I tried with all my might to lead me back to that place of “unconditional love”. Eventually, I came to understand, that there is no possibility in this life of limits and conditions to achieve or experience the Love and Peace of Being, and this realization made me sad, depressed, even suicidal at times.

I came to understand (to remember, but I still forget at times) that there is no need, or purpose to be in that perpetual bliss either. I came to remember, that I came to this earth to experience the good, the bad and the ugly, the passion and the compassion, the love and the loss of love, the yearning and the satisfaction, the fear, and the courage, the joy and the sadness, the process of falling in, being in, and falling out of love. I came to experience heartache, and yes, I came to experience a thousand mind blowing orgasms too!

I came to experience experiences that have a beginning, a middle, and an end.

The bad news is, I can not, and, with the possible exception of Prophets, Saints, Gurus I can’t be and stay in that Love, while being in this rather limiting, conditioned, judgmental and unforgiving world.

The good news is, that although I suffered unnecessarily from the illusion of not being in love, of being alone, unloved, unlovable, lonely and separated, I also came to understand that through my appreciation and enjoyment of beauty, joy, compassion, and yes, a thousand mind blowing orgasms, I am never truly, really separated from Love, and from BEING in LOVE.

All I have to do, all that all of us can, should and must do, is to stop listening to the limitations, rules, conditions and false illusions of our mind. All we have to do, let go of reason, let go of reality, all we have to do is to loose our mind, in order to let things be as IS.

All we have to do is to let Love love, to let Love love itself, and to let Love flow through us, to Love Love in the illusionary “others” as only Love can love Itself.

Evolution vs. Revolution of The Mind

In our perception, everything around us might be changing, but we are still. In our mind,the Universe revolves around us, time passes by us, and we stand watching the world go by.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. There is no place on Earth, or in the entire Universe, (and that, of course, includes us)that there is no change, but change occurs at either such incredibly fast rate, or such at incredibly slow pace that we do not perceive the change, until…well, until the change can no longer be ignored adn something needs to be done about it.

Conception, the merging of two cells happens so fast, that if you say "………..OOOOOOO", you’ve missed it. Yet, that first transformation is only the first step of in an almost infinite number of changes that will occur in the lifetime. These changes happen at a high speed but noticeable change does not occur fast enough for us to be perceived from day to day. Watching the grass grow might be an enjoyable although somewhat boring experience, but hard as we might to SEE it growing, we will only notice when it is too long, and needs to be mowed.

Like the Universe itself, that is constantly expanding, contracting, spinning, revolving, cooling, burning, colliding, creating, evolving, everything on earth, living or material changes and , whether body and mind are one, or separate, whether we perceive it or not, whether we like it or not, whether we are in control of it or not, our mind changes at an incredible speed and at an alarmingly low rate. (Yes, I know it is a contradiciton. The Universe, my mind and "I" have this in common: we like to contradict ourselves)

Consider this: the brain and the nervous system contain billions of interconnected neurons. These neurons are interconnected through trillions of pathways, and the number and way of these organizations influence everything from the ability to speak, recognize letters, and symbols, to the way we maintain relationships. At birth, a baby is born with most of its neurons “ready”, but a very limited number of connections. The brain and mind are a blank state: a possibility for an unlimited number of possibilities.

In the first three months of life, neurons connect rapidly to form synapses: one neuron can connect with up to 15,000 other neurons, the number of synapses multiply more than twenty times.

At three months, in about the time it took to change diapers approximately 1080 times, the infant changed the number of synapses from practically nothing to an incredible 1,000 trillion synapses! Next time, when you cry out: "Is this baby will EVER sleep through the night?!" Remind yourself: he is busy building synapses, he has no time to sleep!

In the first three years, the brain will go through the most dramatic physical changes and the baby learns at an amazing pace, as it is being bombarded with new experiences: to a baby, EV ERYTHING is new. But the brain is also very efficient; connections that are not used are” disconnected” . Pruning speeds after the first year, but a three year old has almost ten times more synapses than an adult. During the next few years, the child has built, tested, and either strengthened or discarded trillions and trillions of synapses, and at age ten, has about 500 trillion synapses, the same as an average adult.

This building, testing, pruning, wiring and re-wiring continues through childhood, and adulthood, although it slows down considerably and –although it never looses its capacity to learn and form new synapses- it looses its “flexibility” or plasticity considerably. Learning languages is a good example of this: at age three, a baby has the potential to distinguish several hundred spoken sounds, the possibility to learn any language spoken on this Earth or possibly, any language of the Universe. Over the next few months, the brain organizes itself to recognize only those sounds that is spoken around him, and although it retains its “plasticity” up to about three years of age, by age ten, the plasticity is lost. This is why young children can learn languages quickly and speak without an accent.

Adults learn too, but at a much slower rate, with more effort, and, like myself, they will never be able to loose their accent completely. English is my third language, and although I’ve mastered it sufficiently to produce this –relatively- coherent piece of written material, in “real life”, I speak with a thick accent, reminiscent of Zsa Zsa Gabor, Dahling.... Although I can spell the word “birthday” better than my seven year old grandson, after twenty five years living in an English speaking environment, I still pronounce the word as “birdzdaye”. I do convince myself though to think that it is my wit, rather than my funny accent why most people consider me very entertaining.

Whether physical changes in the brain create the mind, or the mind creates the physical changes in the brain, the mind continues to simultaneously making up its mind (cementing knowledge) and changing its mind (learning through new experiences) all through life and thus creating new connections in the brain. The mind literally wires and rewires the brain, creates and recreates itself from the beginning until the end, and as some would argue, the mind started this process before the beginning and does not stop after the end.

Touch, sound, sight, taste, smell, and the experiences that come with the sensory stimuli create a need for the brain to organize itself to be able to orchestrate appropriate responses for the biological body to survive. There is another need, the need to make MEANING, SENSE of what is happening, and this is what many believe separates us, Homo Sapiens (Thinking Man) from Homo Erectus (Erected Man). It is not that mammals, birds, and Erected Man do not “think” and some mammals on the top of the chain are capable of “feeling”, having simple emotions. Only us, Homo Sapiens and Femme Sapiens are believed to have complex emotions, as well as the need to make SENSE and MEANING of what is changing “in here”, “out there” and “In the Universe” at large.

We use our emotions to make sense and meaning of our emotions and we use our capability to make sense and meaning out of our emotions to make more sense out of our emotions. (I could go on ad Infiniti, and it would STILL make sense!)


This is where the irony lies. (By the way, we are the only known living species in the known living Universe, other than the Universe itself that is capable to contemplate “irony”): We evolved into creatures with a mind in order to fulfill the same evolutionary need as an amoeba, or a virus, that has no “mind” to speak of, but is actually much more effective at surviving and reproducing than us. It is not the first nor the last time in our evolution, that we created a solution that creates more problems than it was created to solve.

If we had no mind, we would probably still survive quite well, but we would not be pondering the power of the mind, nor would we have the illusion, or the real power of the mind to ponder, and we could not understand “irony”. How sad, boring, or how peaceful that existence would be: it is only a matter of perception.

We are the only species that is capable of feeling emotional pain and emotional pleasure and our mind is so powerful, that by creating a meaning to our emotions and by making sense of them, we can even override our biological and instinctual brain. We have free will to choose pain, if it gives us emotional pleasure, and we can avoid rewards that cause us emotional pain. This is what makes us, humans capable of the most honorable sacrifices most terrible digressions. We are capable of giving an arm and a leg, a kidney, or give up our life for those we love, for the ideas we believe in, to serve, or in honor of our God. We are also capable of cutting of an arm, a leg, a nursing breast of our enemy, killing a nursing baby, if we feel the need for ethnic cleansing, for the ideas we believe in, or for the glory of OUR God.

Our mind can discern “positive” from “negative” experiences –it knows good and evil. The bad news is, that often, our mind is wrong and it makes mistakes: we almost always create our own misery, our own damnation, our own hell out of our “negative” emotions. The good news is, that we can also create a heaven of "positive" emotions out of our hellish experiences.

Consider an infant. He or she has the need for one of the 1080 diaper changes. He or she “knows” this, because she or he is in physical discomfort. Baby was born with the capability to instinctually “know” that this discomfort needs to be avoided, and fixed. Baby also instinctually “knows” that in order to bring upon the relief from the discomfort of dirty diaper he needs change. Baby cries, which is another instinctual response. At this point, baby does not care, if it is 3AM in the morning, or 5PM in the afternoon. Baby does not consider that you need to sleep. Baby does not consider, that he/she might not be worthy of a diaper change. Baby does not want a diaper change for attention. Baby does not want to wake you up just to piss you off. Baby wants his bum dry. Period.

If somebody comes and creates the desired change, baby learns that her cries for help are effective. If no one comes, baby learns that crying is not effective, and will, eventually give up. There is nothing more sad, than an infant in a crib, that never cries. Baby already learned what they call “Learned Helplessness”: that his needs are not important, and there is nothing he can do to change this. A connection was built, a synapses formed, and although it is possible to change this hardwiring, it is extremely difficult later in life.

But, baby does not yet attempt to make meaning of what happened. He does not have a concept of “I must be bad and not worthy of a diaper change”. She does not think “My parents are trying to teach me to be more independent” , she does not think “nobody loves me” and she does not think “I have really shitty parents”. That comes later, but the connection, the possibility to “go down that road” is already there. He just “knows” that he can not in any way control whether his needs are met or not. He “knows” he is not in control, but he has not yet begun to try to make sense or meaning of this.

Consider a two year old, who wants a cookie. He or she already have WANTS not just needs. He or she already judges, based on personal preferences: I want cookie, not broccoli. He knows what he wants, and he will go for it. (Unless he is one of the aforementioned poor babies with learned helplessness). He will make cute faces, he will five hand signals, he will ask for the cookie, he will say NOOOOOO! NOOOO! NOOOO! When broccoli is offered, he will cry, scream, stump his feet, throw himself on the floor, and he will do this exactly as long as it takes to either get the cookie, or giving up and moving on to other reward seeking adventures.

Five seconds later, he has forgotten the whole incident. He does not sit there, thinking: YEAH! I GOT the cookie. I knew I can do it! That stumping combined with the screaming from the top of my lungs has REALLY worked this time, perhaps because we were in the supermarket. When I do that, my parents are really embarrassed, and they will do ANYTHING for me. (insert evil laugh).

She also is not thinking: I did not get the cookie. I never get the cookie, and never will. I don’t deserve the cookie, I deserve broccoli. I only embarrassed myself when I threw myself on the floor, and really, was the stumping necessary? It is no use. My parents hate me, they don’t’ love me, because I am a girl, not a boy. Life would be so much easier if I was a boy, Boys get the cookie, girls have to eat broccoli. Well, I am watching my weight anyway…and broccoli really, does not taste so much different than a cookie…

By the time we are adults however, we “learned our lessons”. Things don’t’ just happen to us: we want to know BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! Things that don’t make sense, have to make sense. By now, we believe, that if we “do the right thing”, we will get the reward. If we do the “wrong thing”, we will cause ourselves pain. If we do the right thing, but do not get a reward, then either are bad, and don’t deserve it, or others are bad because they refuse to give it to us. Or, we were wrong, and what we thought the right thing was to do, is the wrong thing. If we do not get what we want, we get angry , resentful and down right hateful against either the “other”, or at ourselves. We think we know what is happening, we made up our mind, and we refuse to change our mind.

Or, we are so insecure, so helpless, so confused, that we can’t make up our mind, and we change our mind too often for any solution to work. When we want the cookie, we ask for it, but then we say: "Oh, no, forget it, it is not important, I’ll eat the broccoli, never mind. I LIKE broccoli. Cookie is bad."

Everything is still happening at the same time, change is happening all around us, inside us, and we still have to react to the changes, some of which we can control, others we can’t.

Every new experience either breaks a rule, or re-enforces the rule. Our mind is programmed, conditioned, and controlled to believe it has control over everything or it believes, sometimes simultaniously, that it has no control over anything.

Who did this programming, conditioning and controlling of the mind? Your mind, that is. Who is the one, who can reprogram, recondition, and take control of our individual and collective mind? Your mind, that is.

Who is in control? Your Mind, that is. Who is it controlling? Your Mind, that is. See, how powerful is YOUR MIND? You can start a revolution of evolution! You can change your mind to change the universe itself! You can be the change that you desire! All you have to do, is to Change Your Mind About Everything!

Lets thank Evolution again for giving us a Mind that can appreciate the irony. Now, let’s take control, and change our mind about what we think about changing our mind: Change is inevitable. Evolution is optional. Let’s choose evolution and start a Revolution Of The Mind Evolution.