Mind over Materialism: Joy to the World

The  Holiday Season is upon us, and it appears that ever year the pressure builds to create a "perfect" Christmas: a media campaign designed to mind control and brainwash as many people as possible to spend as much money as possible.  Crazy making that results in highly unrealistic expectations that can not possibly met, increased emotional and physical stress, crowded malls, increased traffic and pollution, lack of natural light, cold, wet, damp weather, overindulgence on high calorie meals loaded with cholesterol, fat, and sugar, increased alcohol consumption: it does not take a lot of mindpower to figure out that this can not possibly be healthy or desireable for anyone, and is more likely to create a hellish experience than joy to the world, peace on earth, peace of mind, happiness, joy, enlightement. Christmas, as prescribed by the media contributes joy and  merriment and beneifts only  merchants, bankers, loan sharks and credit counsellors.

In the virtual world of the media, there are large, affluent, perfectly functional, happy and joyful extended families that live in huge mansions, or chic condos furnished and decorated to a perfection that would challenge and shame professional decorators. Healthy, fit parents, grandparents, friends, in-laws, children and teenagers in designer clothes sit around a perfectly set table to enjoy a picture perfect, succulent and lavish holiday meal, exchange extravagant and expensive gifts. Cute kids scream with delight, romantic couples share a moment of bliss, friendly neighbors and perfect strangers share gifts, hugs and warm handshakes. Pit bulls are becoming cute puppy dogs with Santa hats, school yard bullies become Big Brothers and Girl Guides, abusive partners become loving husbands or wives, war lords stop warring, drug dealers stop dealing, the earth stops quaking....all sit in a big circle around a Christmas Tree, hold hands and sing Silent Night....
Everything is to be perfect at Christmas, and perfection is sold near you at a department store, or conveniently online. Christmas Spirit is available for sale, for twelve easy payments of $99.99, plus applicable taxes, shipping and handling, no refunds, no exchange.

Become the master of your mind, body and Christmas Spirit this year: resist the temptation to spend, buy, outdo the Joneses, or the Kardashians. Remind yourself, that everything that truly means anything in this life (love, joy, happiness, friendship, companionship, passion, compassion, peace, fun just to mention a few from my own wish list) IS free. Christmas Spirit might not be ordered on line, picked up at the drive through window, can not be bought on credit, and is not likely to impress your neighbors, or facebook friends.

Getting Christmas right might take a bit of effort: you might have to accept that resentment, anger, disagreements, family feuds, dysfunction, war, conflict and other "plagues" will not magically be resolved and go away for Christmas; if you are poor, you will probably just as be poor, if not more after the holidays, if you are rich, you will likely be just as rich, your sister in law just as awful, your brother just as annoying, and your life not much different than it was the night before Christmas.

But, if you can resist the temptation, pressure, brainwashing and mind altering influences of those (let they be the media, merchants, airline personnel, or your annoying sister in law) who are attempting to make you feel inferior, inadequate, imbalanced for their own personal benefit, if you can accept that people, earth and the world is how it is, if you can make a decision to be happy, joyful and loving  right now, right here, if you can put down your cell phone, texting device, game and TV controller, if you can stop and reflect instead of  rushing, if you can sit still, if you can find the Christmas Spirit in your own heart, if you can find joy, happiness, peace and love in your own life, then, just like magic,  your  Christmas will be magical.
Now, hold that feeling....and have a wonderful, abundant, passionate, loving, joyful, harmonious New Year in 2011, and forever more.

Merry Christmas, Peace on Earth and Goodwill to All.

Mind over Matter of the Hearts: Welcome into My Love

I was talking to a girlfriend the other day, about what us, women mostly -not always, but mostly-talk about: men, relationships, love and Love with a capital "L".

My friend, a sexy, intelligent, beautiful inside and out, yet (or perhaps "thus"?) single, was describing the man of her dreams, the man, who would win her heart, mind and soul, the man, whom she she would, she said, "Welcome into my Love"

We noticed and laughed about the apparent Freudian slip; of course, she meant "the man I would welcome into my life", but long after I hung up with her, I could not get this notion out of my mind: I mean, we welcome men, women, friends, children, pets and even appliances into our life, but, how many of us welcomes anything, anybody "into our love"?

Come to think of it, how many of us have ever met love, how many of us known love, how many of us welcomed love into our life? Furthermore, and perhaps it is an even more rhetorical, but important question: how many of us invited and welcomes LIFE into our LOVE? In other words: do we give life to our love, or do we give love to our life? Sadly, I assume it is neither; most of us think of love as something that will, one perfect day, "find us", enter our life, and stay forever, cherish us, honor us, sustain us, till death do us part, love will stay with us, until the end, we hope, but many of us, most of us, do not have the commitment, the courage and the wherewithal to stay in love, let alone stay and live with love.

We seek love, we crave love, we fall in and out of love, we love love, and most of us, except certain psycho or sociopaths would agree, that we can't live without love: yet, , many of us never "met" love, many of do, and live without.

Since the beginning of time, philosophers, poets, scientist, theoreticians and every day people tried to define, explain, and sometimes control the concept, energy, feeling, this "thing" we call "love". Depending to whom you listen to, love either does not exist, it is "in our mind", it is in our heart, or, at the other end, it is what makes the world go round, love all there is.

Some would argue, love is nothing but a chemical reaction to certain hormones, designed by evolution for the survival of the species: it is "love" that makes us hunt for a partner to have over for dinner (hopefully followed by desserts, vine and various acts of procreation), instead of having her for dinner. It is a rush of certain chemicals that makes us -especially women- feel good, "in love" after the physical act of procreation (a.k.a. sex), and it keeps us, unlike some spiders and other species, from consuming and digesting our partner, immediately after consummation of our love affair. "Love hormones" keep us from eating our young, and from kicking them out the nest before they can fly.





Love is an emotion, a thought process, and our notion of  Unconditional Love, strongly conditioned by our culture, society, and personal experiences, others argue: it is all in our mind, a construct of our thought processes, a matter of perception, and thus, it can never be truly shared or communicated: even two people deeply in love with each other are not "in" the same love.

Love is an action, others will say, it is a behavior, mostly learned, a conscious act. We "make love", we "act lovingly", we "share love" we "love others" and others, hopefully will love us back.

Do we have a choice over love? Can we control with whom, where, and why we are going to fall in love with? Are we responsible for "staying in love", do we "fall" out of love, or do we walk out on love?

Some say, you can not truly love others, until you've learned to love yourself. Others say,that you can not love yourself, unless you experienced at least once, even if for a short period of time, how it feels to be loved. Truly, some people who never experienced love as being accepted, cared for, safe, might even confuse being controlled, or even abused as being loved, and they end up abusing themselves and others in the name of "love".

Personally, I tend to believe that love is as much an instinct as it can be constructed, learned and practiced mindfully. I believe, love is a word of action and a state of mind that can be developed, cultured, an experience we can create, and a choice we can make.  a conscious choice. As long as we have a mind, body and soul, we can choose to evolve toward a conscious, mindful and soulful experience, feeling and action of love: all we have to do is to open our heart, mind and body, to welcome love into our life and to welcome life into our love.

Multitasking: Wasting Time by Trying to Save Time

Multitasking is not living in the present and making the best use of time. Rather, it is a futile effort to split the present time into more time than there is. But there is no "more time", "less time" or "wasted time". Time can not be "saved" and used up at some other time. Time can not be "recovered", once it is gone, it is gone. Doing many things at the same time is not only proverbially useless, but scientifically proven to be ineffective. According to research, people who were multitasking made significantly more mistakes, completed less tasks, and experienced more stress than those who tackled things one at the time, given their attention and focus to only one task until it was completed.


Those trained in mindfulness based living, (i.e. were trained to give full attention, awareness to each task, as if it was as if it is a form of meditation and spiritual experience) were able to complete almost twice as many task in a given time than their multitasking counterparts, they made practically zero mistakes, and their experience has been significantly more plesant than members of the multitasking group. So, stop wasting time by trying to do too many things at the time: remember, time can not be saved, but you will save effort, have a better time (experience) and will almost surely do a much better job at whatever you are doing, if you give it your full attention, your best effort, until it is done.