Suicide is the cancer of the mind: people who are killing themselves are not weak, they are not cowards, and they are cot crazy. Suicide is not a shame, it is not immoral and it is not a sin. When someone commits suicide, they have not given in: they have simply lost a courageous battle with life.
If you are a person thinking of killing yourself, please talk to someone NOW. Being silent is not a sign of strength. There is SOMEONE who will listen. THERE IS SOMEONE WHO WILL HELP. THERE IS SOMEONE WHO CARES.
I CARE. I WROTE THIS ARTICLE BECAUSE I WANT TO HELP.
IF YOU CAN'T THINK OF A FRIEND, A RELATIVE, or a PROFESSIONAL you can trust, or who is available, call the suicide crisis line in your community:
Call: 1-800-SUICIDE or 604-872-3311 in CANADA. There are professional, caring people 24/7 who will listen. CALL NOW. It is free and confidential. Call. NOW.
THERE IS NEVER TOO EARLY but OFTEN TOO LATE to prevent suicide. Knowledge is power. EDUCATE YOURSELF.
Suicide is the least understood and most misunderstood of all human actions, and unfortunately, also one of the least talked about. Both as a professional, and and in my personal life, I had been touched by suicide and I can personally attest that the loss of a friend, family member, or client to suicide is one of the most difficult experiences in a person's life, perhaps only surpassed by the emotional pain and suffering being caused by being suicidal oneself.
While the suicide tends to be the least talked about subject, it is more common than you think. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association's webpage, someone around the globe commits suicide every 40 seconds. In the year 2000, 815,000 people lost their lives to suicide — more than double the number of people who die as a direct result of armed conflict every year (306,600). For people between the ages of 15 and 44, suicide is the fourth leading cause of death and the sixth leading cause of disability and infirmity worldwide.
There are many myths, and stigmas that are associated with suicide and suicidal behaviour and the lack of information about suicide is probably the number one reason why most people only think or talk about suicide when it is too late: after someone they love or know have attempted, or worse, succeeded at killing themselves.
Contrary to popular myth, suicide is not a sudden or temporary loss of one's mind, but often, if not always is a result of emotional or mental illness and suffering over an extended period of time: when a person's copying abilities and resources run out, when the pain of living appears to be unbearable, and there does not seem to be the faintest hope of recovery or resolution, when one feels that there is nothing more that they can or able to do to eliminate the pain, better their life, where there is no more hope, there is suicide.
I've read a quote somewhere that is, I believe is very poignant:
"Weak people do not kill themselves. People who have tried to be too strong for too long might"
Although the majority of people who become suicidal or commit suicide suffer from a diagnosed or undiagnosed form of mental illness, or mood disorder, people who are suicidal are not crazy. In fact, the majority of people who become suicidal are very capable and resourceful individuals who were and able to lead "normal" life in spite of stressful, problematic and emotionally painful life experiences and circumstances for a long time. In fact, suicidal thoughts when no other apparent options exist, appear to be the most logical thing to do, and often the ONLY action a suicidal person feels they have the power to do. When everything else fails, when one feels they have no control over anything in their life, they might feel the ONLY thing they have control over is the decision to end their life.
Another common and dangerous myth is, that people who talk about killing themselves do not do it. On the contrary, it is a sad statistic, that most people who commit suicide made references, even if apparently kidding about it, in the days, weeks, months, or even years preceding their suicide.
Although sometimes there are no CLEAR warning signals of a person being suicidal, there are almost ALWAYS signs that become clear only after their attempt. In addition, there are certain life experiences or trauma that might increase a person becoming suicidal. Check a list of these signs NOW, even if you do not presently know, or you can't even imagine you would EVER know someone, let alone become yourself suicidal. Knowing these signs, just as you would know the sings of a heart attack, a stroke might one day save the life of someone you love, or save your own life.
DO NOT TRY TO RULE OUT, SELF DIAGNOSE OR DIAGNOSE IN OTHERS DEPRESSION OR SUICIDAL INDENTATION. There is never too early but often too late to prevent suicide, there is no such thing as a false alarm, but an alarm that has been ignored.
IF THERE IS AN IMMEDIATE DANGER OF A PERSON ACTIVELY THINKING OF SUICIDE, AND/OR ANY SUSPICION OR DOUBT THAT THEY MIGHT DO SO, SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP IMMEDIATELY!
There are many resources, assessment and self assessment tools for mood disorders and suicide available on the Internet and in every community. Here is one of them, by the Canadian Mental Health Association:
Whatever you do, or do not do, do not try to silence a person and prevent them fro thinking "negatively" or talking about killing themselves.
How do you know if a person is suicidal? ASK! "Have you thought of killing of yourself" "How would you do it?" "Have you made a plan?"
KNOW THAT talking about suicide almost NEVER increases but almost ALWAYS decreases the chance of a person killing themselves. You can not "give ideas" to a person of killing themselves, but you can potentially giving them ideas of not being taken seriously, of not being important, of not being heard, if you do not LISTEN to them.
Especially in our "hooked on positive thinking" society, talking about "negative" feelings, especially concerning such taboos as death and suicide is often uncomfortable, or down right scary to most people. Individuals feeling suicidal might not talk about it, because they might be afraid of hurting the other people's feelings, or because they are afraid of being further rejected, ridiculed, or put down. Yet, probably the most important and most helpful thing a person can do to help someone who is suicidal is to LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.
Do NOT: minimize the pain or suffering of a suicidal person by telling them to "think positively", to "snap out of it", or tell them, their problems or feelings are not important or serious enough to kill themselves over. This type of talk might only INCREASE the person's feelings of not being heard, not being taken seriously, of being misunderstood, and their feelings of shame, embarrassment, inadequacy, powerlessness, and feeling that they are not "normal", that others could deal with the problems they are feeling, that there is something inherently wrong with them.
As a person who lives with Major Clinical Depression, and unfortunately personally experienced suicidal thoughts, I get personally offended, and even angry, when I hear people saying: people who are talking about killing themselves just want attention. DUH!
Talking about suicide is a CRY FOR HELP AND ATTENTION and the best thing, in fact THE moral and ethical thing and responsibility of you as friend, relative, professional, or HUMAN BEING is not to deny, but give attention and to show your support!
Don't try to do it alone. Maintain confidentiality, but talk to a professional (there are suicide crisis lines in virtually every community and on the Internet, where you can talk to trained counsellors and professionals while remain anonymous. FIND THESE RESOURCES and USE THEM.
Increase and/or activate a person's natural circle of support: friends, family, church, social and government agencies, anybody who can potentially help to provide practical or professional support and solutions, services, counselling and whatever else is needed. Often, all a person needs to know that there is ONE or more people who care and are willing to help to provide that glimmer of hope and strength to go on. Do not say: I am sorry, I can't help you. This might give the person an idea that NO ONE can help, their situation or they themselves are hopeless and there is no help available to them. Say: "I WILL HELP YOU TO FIND A SOLUTION"
In fact, most people who attempt or commit suicide DID ask for help in every way they knew or felt they were allowed to ask how. Most become suicidal when either they believe that no one can, or no one is willing to help, when they loose hope. It is also true in most cases, that when they TALK about killing themselves, there is still a part of them that WANTS TO LIVE. APPEAL TO THAT PART OF THAT PERSON instead of trying to silence the part that wants to give up and wants to die.
When someone tells you they are going to kill themselves, TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. If a person appears to be actively suicidal, (i.e. they talk about killing themselves, they have made a plan, they have the means and opportunity to kill themselves), DO NOT LEAVE THEM ALONE AND CALL FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP IMMEDIATELY! Yes, I know I am repeating myself, but I can not repeat this enough...do not leave them alone and do not give the impression that you have other, more important things to do. There are no more important things to do in life, than saving some one's life.
Canadian Mental Health Association Statistics
Suicide
Depression Self Assessment Test
Disclaimer:
This site provides general information only intended for educational purposes. Information provided is not a substitute for professional advice. If you feel that you may need medical advice, please consult a qualified health care professional. MYL makes every reasonable effort to ensure that the information is accurate at the time of posting. We cannot guarantee the reliability of any information posted.
